The Grand List of Platform Game Cliches

1. The Law of Swim Time Vs Technological Progress

In a 2D platform game, for some reason your character will never need to come up for air, and can apparently swim in all directions for as long as they like, unless of course the ever looming timer runs out. Of course, as soon as the series goes to 3D, this water either becomes insta kill or they get a breath meter for reasons unknown.

2. Sonic Can't Swim!

Of course, disregard the last item if it's a Sonic The Hedgehog game, he's got the swimming ability of a rock.

3. Environmental Invincibility...

Enemies in a 2D game will be completely immune to any and all environmental damage. They can fall in water, walk underwater, walk on/in lava, or even across pits of deadly spikes and nothing will happen to them whatsoever. Hoever, for the so called destined hero that's got to save everyone, and who you'd think have some kind of toughness, the last two things will instantly vapourise him on the spot...

4. Explosive Enemies

Apparently, rather than leaving behind any sort of remains, the standard platform game foe will explode in fifty million pieces in a colourful cloud of smoke and fire, using launching money in various directions. If the enemy is a boss, or a robot of some kind, the chance of doing this upon death goes up to guaranteed/100%. Who knew ancient demons, one winged angel forms and final bosses were highly flammable?

5. The Standard 'He's Dead' Pose

When an enemy or player character dies, he'll drop straight off the screen with eyes and mouth wide open and maybe arms stretched out. Bonus points for a short little ditty, sound effect and/or a scream of 'erk' as this happens. Triple points if the character plumments straight through the ground and conveniantly sinks in the lava/poison/other acidic substance directly under the floor.

6. The Ring Out Rule

There will always be one boss who's immune to all your attacks and has to be knocked back/thrown into a dangerous substance that melts them on contact.

7. The Green Hill Zone Rule

The first area visited in any platform or action game will be a pleasant green land with smiling clouds, the sun out all day long, cheery and easily defeated enemies and the very simple platforming they makes you think you might have got the wrong video game. It will usually have at least one water level, one cave level and one very basic fortress that's so basic and short you can't even get to hear more than ten seconds of the background music.

8. Shifting Sand Land is Next Door?

For some reason best left to Super Mario Bros 3, the vast, vast majority of second worlds will be a desert wasteland with killer cacti, ancient pyramids and the odd oasis. Then again, it seems most platform games have basically ripped the exact world structure from Super Mario Bros 3, so you can almost expect the water themed world to be third, and the vaguely Mordor esque evil land to be world 8.

9. Not Another Pyramid...

Every desert has a pyramid. No exceptions. For some reason, these pyramids are always far, far larger on the inside that could reasonably be expected, to the point they could house a small city. There will also usually be vast rooms filled with closing in walls and ceilings, traps smashing from the ceiling, sarcophaguses filled with evil Mummy based enemies and some vaguely egyptian based music playing on a loop in the background.

10. The Problem With Underwater Levels

Any Platform Game will have at least one underwater level, and it will be one of the worst levels in the game, no exceptions. Maybe because the developers realised you can go in multiple directions underwater and hence they felt like putting in a huge maze of deadly objects and creatures to dodge in all 4 directions?

11. First Past The Flag

As soon as you reach the exit point for a level in a 2D platform game, any worries can be laid to rest. You're health will be restored in the next level, all enemies will decide 'well, he's reached the flag, not gonna chase him any more' and regardless of how absolutely and utterly screwed your location is, you're safe. Who cares that you're in the middle of a maze of brambles, or Lethal Lava Land, or in the lowest down room in a castle with no emergency exit, you've reached the goal, hence all worries are laid to rest.

12. Emergency Existance Failure

If your character has 100 health, and is hit 99 times, this will have no effect on his movement, general abilities or anything in the game. However, if he gets hit just once more by the most minor thing, the character explodes messily on the spot.

13. All Damage is Equal

There's only two levels of damage in a game; instant kill, and one damage. The great big spikes in the castle than could turn the average creature to dust will have no more effect on your character's health that being stung by a wasp or walked into by a Goomba.

14. Follow the Money

Each and every level, whether in the middle of a busy town, the furthest desert, deepest ocean or bad guy's flying castle, will have a huge line of money leading from the start area to your destination. Apparently, no one else in the world ever thinks of picking up any money that's just lying around in plain sight, nor of not making a freaking obvious trail leading to the destination of choice.

15. The Arrow Colorary

Following an arrow made of money will always lead to great rewards, bonus areas and more money. There will never be trick arrows placed above a pit leading downwards unless that pit leads somewhere important, barring Kaizo games.

16. Anti Gravitational Cash Rule

All important objects and money will not follow the laws of physics and will float nicely in the air above everything from bottomless pits to lava to black holes.

17. Took a Shortcut

Any partners in a platform game, or any plot important characters do not ever have to worry about the vast dangers found in the levels, and can always be in the one place where they're needed most by the plot. You would have thought by now the villain's soldiers would have ripped them to pieces before they even reached where the hero currently is...

18. Why do you need protecting?

NPCs are invincible to all attacks and enemy damage. Why they need you to protect them from the villains instead of just leading a mass attack on the bad guy's base is never really stated.

19. Yes, I know there's a crisis. That'll be 150 coins please.

Regardless of any events happening in the world, or any potential destruction of all life in the game, shopkeepers will still be trying to make you buy any necessary items. Heck, even those supposedly on your side in 3D games will try and force payment from you for their services! With these friends, who needs enemies?

20. Do you know you're hoarding stolen property?

Non Playable Characters in 3D games apparently hold three quarters of the major items you actually need to save the world, yet they'll never just give you said items, instead making you race Manta Rays, race them, find their lost children or clean up rubbish in return for them. Why everyone's blaming you for the crisis when they're the ones keeping valuable objects that could help you save the world is never explained.

21. The Rule of One Hundred

One hundred objects will always equal a nice reward, whether it be another main object needed to finish the quest/mission, or just an extra life. In many cases, there will even literally be one hundred objects in the level, and that's about it with a mission of 'collect them all!'

22. Standard Platform Game Levels and Geography

There will always be at least one of these levels in every platform game released:

• 1. A fiery land of volcanos, lava and general death.
• 2. A desolate and ruined world controlled by the villain forces, usually the same place as one.
• 3. A land where 90% of the area is covered in water, and where there will be at least one sunken ship and/or ancient underwater ruins.
• 4. A grassy set of plains and forests where the sun is always shining and the gameplay is remarkably straight forward.
• 5. A desert, usually in the style of Egypt complete with pyramids, mummies, cacti and quick sand. Despite at least two of those being found nowhere near each other.
• 6. A cold snow based region, usually at or near the top of a vast mountain. Expect polar bears, penguins, igloos, Christmas style trees and Santa Claus. Not to mention the Christmas music...
• 7. A vast cave system with underground versions of normal enemies, water, lava, falling rocks and deep chasms.
• 8. A mouse world where every single object is far larger than the protagonist, and where ordinary bugs and small enemies are truly gigantic in scale.
• 9. A gigantic factory complex with multi coloured chemicals, laser beams, robots and at least twenty two things ready to smash your character into a pan cake.
• 10. A vast castle or fortress with lava pits, ball and chains, spikes, falling ceilings, rising lava/poison, deadly enemies and skeletons. We all know how much medieval castles like using vast pits of lava as internal decorations!
• 11. A haunted house, usually in the style of an ominous looking mansion. Expect ghosts, more ghosts, zombies, skeletons, paintings that constantly look at the character, traps and the odd vampire bat.
• 12. An underwater ocean world where the marine life has a taste for human flesh, sea weed is trying to kill you and whirlpools might be a common occurrence. Expect to see fish, more fish, eels, octopi that hate protagonists and the odd normal land enemy that's somehow perfectly adapted to life underwater.
• 13. Outer space with space stations, planets, stars, black holes and astronaut versions of enemies. Not even the local solar system is apparently safe from bad guy control.
• 14. A jungle/rainforest suspiciously like the Amazon, complete with rivers, crocodiles, piranha fish, angry natives with spears and bows, man eating plants and vines to swing from. Or what most people know Donkey Kong Country for.
• 15. A level set on a moving train, and falling onto the train tracks is usually extremely deadly (aka, one hit kill by electrocution). This train will usually be far too dangerous to be track worthy.
• 16. A circus complete with homicidal clowns, caged monsters, tight ropes, big tops with audience and cheery carnival style music.
• 17. Bramble themed levels. Usually including vast mazes of the things, and with a rendition of Stickerbrush Symphony playing in the background.
• 18. A level which is either a remake of another level in the series, with a few differences, or a remake of another level in another game altogether, maybe with a few differences.
• 19. Weird levels set in strange places that defy all logic whatsoever.
• 20. A level set in a land of giant musical instruments. Expecting to run across piano keys, jump across drums and dodge evil instruments.
• 21. A world of toys, usually where the toys are animate and trying to brutally kill the hero.
• 22. A world made of food, or at least named after it.
• 23. A level set in a pinball machine, involving flippers, bumps, scores, giant pinballs and lively music.
• 24. A level set on a pirate ship, usually belonging to the main villain.
• 25. A level where the lights go on and off at random intervals.
• 26. A mine cart level. Always has to be a mine cart level.
• 27. A colourful floating battlefield in a vortex of rainbowness.
• 28. A flying castle or space station, usually in a void of darkness. Always the final level if found in a game.
• 29. The sky, complete with flying enemies, solid clouds and lots of moving platforms.
• 30. Some form of floating obstacle course to test a form of movement/power up which is not particularly accurate nor handles well, complete with deadly walls, spikes, obstacles and electrical barriers.

23. There will always be these stock video game enemies...

• 1. A basic enemy that walks straight from right to left/left to right, and right off the cliff at the other end. Dies in one hit.
• 2. Some kind of tougher enemy that takes multiple hits and deliberately tries to attack you when you get close.
• 3. Some kind of ghost for the haunted house levels, in the standard halloween decoration style.
• 4. A trap that smashes into the floor with great force when you're near or under it.
• 5. Some for of killer cacti
• 6. An evil snowman of some random design in the inevitable ice world.

24. The Indiana Jones Boulder Sequence Homage Rule

There will always be at least one level where the duration is spent running for your life from an oversized, extremely dangerous foe. Of course, there's a pretty good chance this foe will actually be a boulder, ala the movie if you're lucky.

25. No Mantling Allowed!

Characters in 2D games can apparently never grab the edge of the ledge and pull themself up if they miss by even a third of an inch. This only compounds the frustration of the times Mario has made a daring leap across the abyss and fell exactly three feet short into the pit. Game over. Try again.

26. The Projectile Power Up Rule

At least one power up can be obtained that allows you to shoot relatively short range projectiles at enemies, in a similar way to the Fire Flower. This is far less useful than you'd think.

27. Stock Items

At least two of the below power ups will appear in any 2D platform game, no exceptions:

• 1. A short range projectile weapon
• 2. A flying item that allows the character to soar through the sky and fly over enemies. This will be usually be really, really useless with a short range, or incredibly powerful and overly broken and allow the character to skip three quarters of the level.
• 3. A more powerful projectile item.
• 4. An invincibility item that often allows you to inflict damage on enemies just by walking into them as well as give you invulnerability to any damage. Strangely, this doesn't ever effect lava or level hazards, hence your character just melts like he's not using the item if he touches them.
• 5.An item to give you an extra life or revive equivalent. No one thinks to use these in story.
• 6. An item for improved swimming, although the improved part is rather debatable.

28. The Large and In Charge Rule

The main villain of the story will be the biggest, baddest looking individual in the game world, and will tower over their minions and any captives.

29. The Collorary to the Above

Said large and in charge individual has a greater tendency to be the main villain based on how thin the game's plot is. If the game's plot is thin, simple and generally 'save the princess', the big bad overlord will be the main villain. If however it's more complex and relies on an ancient conspiracy, the main villain will usually turn about to be the guy least people suspect, maybe the initial bad guy's immediate advisor.

30. The One Winged Angel Ultra Form Rule

There's a 99% given chance in any series that the plain old bad guy in his normal form will not be the final boss, but will turn all glowy, mutate to some horrific monster and shoot lightning bolts from their hands in all directions. Of course, in some cases, the villain apparently doesn't change form... and still fires laser beams like mad and hovers in the air.

31. The Ominous Pipe Organ Rule

If theres organ music going in the background, and perhaps a chorus, then all hell is gonna break lose in a few minutes, usually to the bad guy completely insane and becoming a dangerous 90ft tall monster.

32. Super Sizing the Villain Rule

If the one winged angel condition is not met, there's a 90% chance the monster will grow twenty times larger, as just a really big version of themself. Bonus points if the battle has them in the background with hands on the arena, glaring down at the protagonist and trying to smash them to a pulp with their fists of doom.

33. But That was a Load Bearing Boss

As in the RPG Cliches list, the bad guy's castle will usually come crashing down once the villain is defeated. However, unlike in any RPGs and other types of games, platform heroes very rarely actually have to escape the building, usually looking at it from afar as the building falls on the villain and mooks.

34. Emergency Supplies, Now Found in Boss Arenas!

There will always be plenty of supplies found in boss arenas to heal any damage you may have taken in the battle itself. Why the boss doesn't destroy, inhale or just remove these no one knows.

35. Have some supplies for the upcoming boss!

If a boss is in the vicinity, there will be a shop or item supply store just three feet from the boss arena, just to prepare you for the battle. In simpler cases this will be just an item block next to the door, in others there'll literally be a shop on the boss's ship/base next to the steps leading to the battle arena.

36. I HATE Invisible Blocks!

There will always be an invisible block right over the pit you're trying to jump across so the character bangs their head on it and plummets into the bottomless pit. As an addition to this, the invisible block will always be in the one place you really, really hoped it would not be in, just to trip you up and ruin a good day.

37. The Lets Player Most Hated Rule

If any LPer, when making Lets Play videos of Mario games, hacks, fan games, levels or platform games in general really, really hates something, that one thing will be abused to death in every single thing they get sent. Murphy/Sod's Law indeed. As an additional clause, such hated thing will usually have been used in every worst possible place by the game's designer in question, so even the first time they see something they don't like, it won't be the last.

38. So THERE'S Where the boss is!

Boss arenas in any platform game, will, as a general rule have at least three signs to their existance as a loud warning telling you to panic already:

• 1. There'll be a very, very big door before the arena. Bonus points if it's a great big red door that opens verrry slowly. Or has a lock the size of the player character.
• 2. There will be ominous music that starts playing as you approach the boss itself.
• 3. There will be an abundance of supplies and power ups.
• 4. It will get way too quiet.

39. The Fixed Auto Scrolling Rule

There will always be at least one level which is constantly scrolling either to the right or up. It will never however be a nice peaceful outside walk in the park, instead either being a twisty turning cave with lots of ledges to jump and ceilings to duck under, or a fast paced run through the clouds across platforms about three feet wide that may fall without warning. Or underwater, maybe and with the above characteristics.

40. Fight Baddies with Baddies

In every platform game, there will always be at least one part of the game where you have to use enemies to either defeat other enemies or solve really basic puzzles. This stuff ranges from throwing an enemy at an out of the way switch, using living bombs or missiles to blow up walls and objects, or using the baddie's head to cross a deadly pit, either by leisurely ride or bouncing from one to the next.

41. Why did it have to be conveyor belts?

There will a level utilitising conveyor belts and possibly puzzles involving switches. No exceptions.

42. Why did it have to be ICE?

Ice physics suck, and will make your life hell. Worse yet, due to game designer's law of 'let's make the player's life hell', levels with ice physics will not be at the beginning, where the obstacles are safe enough to cross with them, but near the end with lots of tricky jumps, small platforms, moving platforms and falling platforms. If ice goes with auto scrolling, be prepared to throw the game out a second story window.

43. Law of Length and Difficulty of Levels

There will always be at least one really difficult level, and one really long level. Sadly for you, these will be the SAME level, since apparently, in the minds of game designers, nothing like dragging out a hard challenge to a fifteen minute ordeal of pain of limited checkpoints, right?

44. The final Dungeon Admend to the Above

The long, difficult level will always be the final dungeon.

45. The Woes of Saving

In a platform game, saving will sadly take one of three potential forms, of all of which seem to be designed to cause as much stress, player sanity loss and social life destruction as possible:

• 1. No saving at all. Some moron thinks people want to play a 90 level game in a straight run, start to finish with no checkpoints.
• 2. Auto save after each level. Sadly for you, the levels will be extra long to make up for it, and you'll forever be stuck at that one difficult level.
• 3. Save after certain events only. Because even with saving ability, why not deny save on demand to after the final boss? Of course, the save points will be after the tough levels, which is good, but also bad, in that you have to BEAT the tough levels to save. I hate you.

46. The Boss Dissonance Rule

Bosses will NEVER be exactly the same difficulty as the rest of the game, being either extremely easy and pathetic, or insanely difficult. This leads to either frustration or sadness after a long castle.

47. The I hate this boss rule

There will always be a boss that is far too difficult for the point in the game it has encountered, and is difficult enough that you start to wonder why he personally hasn't gone mad, killed the villain and tried to take over the world yet. He'll then be contrasted with the next entry.

48. Why Hasn't this Boss been Fired Yet Rule?

There will also be a pathetically easy boss, one you can hardly ever lose to, usually at the end of the first level. Of course, this raises a few more questions, such as why your harsh main villain hasn't fired/executed the guy yet, since he'll inevitably return multiple times during the game just to get trounced in the same way.

49. The Final Exam Boss

The final boss will always have multiple stages, often mimmicking the earlier bosses in the game. He will also not have learned from this that their attack patterns weren't particularly great, and hence will have the exact same weaknesses from said battles.

50. The Stock Level Gimmicks

No Platform Game is ever complete without at least one of these fascinating gimmicks including:

• 1. Blackout Basement- Lights go on and off.
• 2. A Light in the Dark- Lights always off.
• 3. Mirror Boss/Level- See your character and enemies only in the mirror reflection
• 4. The Switch between dimension gimmick- Day, night, alternate universes... all to get past a level.
• 5. Day and Night theme- Time changes, often in the level.
• 6. Vehicle Shoot em up- Why yes, I did buy this PLATFORM game to play a Bullet Hell shoot emp up out of nowhere! No sarcasm there!

51. The Great Big Switch and Blocks Rule

In Platform Games, for reasons unknown, there will always be levels you have to get past by finding and pressing a huge switch to activate floating blocks, or a stair case. These switches usually have the standard 'P' or '!' mark on them, making you wonder why the hell anyone would need a fifty foot switch to activate everything...

52. Why did it have to be Thwomps?

Every amateur game designer has to have a Thwomp/crushing object of doom themed level in their platform game with ninety nine different types of Thwomp equivalent to annoy and confuse the player.

53. Fickle Blocks!

Gee, blocks that turn on and off at a set interval to make for tricky platforming, not an overdone and somewhat old idea in the least... You can't have a platform game now without this, a set of platforms activated by random on/off turning blocks you have to carefully jump between at set intervals.

54. Fight your way out of a paper bag already!

Why does it seem no one in these games, especially the 3D ones can stand up for themselves against the weakest, most basic enemies? If your kingdom can be conquered by Goombas in three minutes you might want to reevaluate your defense system and army, not say 'player character, save us!'

55. Everything's better with seven stolen treasures

Seven stolen stars, seven stolen chaos emeralds, seven this, and seven that. All usually locked away in seven castle equivalents, guarded by seven bosses, before you fight the final boss. Why do bad guys always steal exactly seven mystical objects once per game? Although considering the RPG overlap, the whole 'recover the seven missing plot coupons' is becoming the defacto standard plot at the moment.

56. Steal Ye Enemies Powers

There will often be a way to get the powers from your enemies and use them for yourself, either as a direct reward for beating them, or some other method. However, your versions of the powers will be worse than those of the bad guys.

57. The weak weapon rule

If you get a weapon, it will be a painfully weak, useless one with all the power of a child's catapult. On the other hand, any weapons the enemies have will be so overpowered you'll be blasted to smithereens for one small mistake.

58. The Expansive Empty Level Rule

Any 3D game which goes to 3D will go from tight, action packed levels to wide open sandbox type areas where quite honestly, nothing much in particular actually happens.

59. The Problem with Pipe Platformers Rule

Pipe platfom games, where you run straight ahead and dodge obstacles along a set sort of 3D obstacle course, do not often work and end up leading to quite a few stupid design decisions, including the dreaded 'running towards the camera' action. One reason many platform games hit the polygon ceiling upon the attempted jump to 3D.

60. The Rule of Everything trying to Kill You

For some reason, in any platform game, near enough every living creature you see has an interest in your blood and wants you dead. Every form of natural life from snakes to piranha fish to crocodiles to monkeys to insects hates you. Every various monster from Goombas to man eating plants hates you. Every potential occupation of person from ninja to pirate to chef apparently hates you. Heck, even various inanimate objects hate you, with toys, TV sets, chairs and books wanting you dead. With all this anti heroness, you've really got to wonder whether the bad guy is pretty much the democratically chosen leader and that you heroes are the bunch of criminals, eh?

61. The Boss Rush Rule

Mordor will have a boss rush at some point.

62. The Not ANOTHER Mouser Rule!

This usually translates to every single level of the final world having either a mini boss or a full blown boss battle at the end of it. If the developer got lazy, expect to fight the same boss multiple times, or even the same one or two bosses about eight times over at the end of the levels in the final world. Joy.

63. Two castles are better than one

The final world will have more castles, fortresses and invasion fleets than every other world combined. Which makes you wonder why none of these things are being used to guard the rest of the game.

64. The Toxic Tower Rule

There WILL be a level with rising lava or death from below. It has a 99.93% chance of being in the final world at least once.

65. Keep Running Rule

There will also be at least one level where the point is to outrun a horizontally travelling evil force or wall of spikes, usually that kills you instantly, from the left to the right.

66. Damsel in Distress

Regardless of the abilities of the captured person, they will never be able to outfight the captor. They could be a helpless princess, an action hero (male or female) or even an earlier boss turned against the master, yet they'll be completely pathetic against even relatively easy foes when the game needs drama.

67. Why is the final showdown in space?

The final boss battle will take place on a glowing, multi coloured arena in the middle of some galaxy somewhere. Nothing says 'dramatic battle' like a rainbow coloured arena with a God mode sue boss randomly teleporting around all over the place.

68. Where did he get flight and teleportation?

The final boss will usually either fly, or teleport around semi randomly. Or both. Bonus points if they're a really, really average Joe character that normally should not have these abilities yet becomes a demi god in the final battle.

69. Why is there a timer?

There will usually be a timer inevitably ticking down (or up) and found in the top corner of the screen. However, for reasons unknown, this timer will apparently instantly kill the character when it hits the limit or runs out, despite them apparently being in perfect safety (or not).

70. Keep the timer going

If there's a timer, there will be a level where the player has to keep the timer going by collecting objects or doing some action to extend the amount of time they have left before death.

71. Something World

What better name for something than [description] world or [description] land. Maybe something kingdom too. This inevitably means that places in a game, especially a platform one made in the 90s will usually have places such as Water World or Fire World or Ice World or Sky Land or Desert Kingdom. Zone seems pretty popular too. Imagine the real world with this, you'd have Antarctica as Ice Land and Egypt as Desert Zone or something.

72. There will be credit montages

The credits will have a nice montage showing images of various things you've encountered on your quest, whether it be scenes, worlds, enemies, levels or in some cases, random pictures the game developers thought looked cool. Expect nice music, and sometimes a weird art style never used before that shows the characters as either determined adults fighting a darker looking threat than the game art shows or just random styles nobody cares aboit.

73. Who's Bob Smith the teaboy?

The credits will show a million and one names, half of which have vague job titles which make you wonder how they got listed in the credits. We all admire the inbetween checker, the manual localiser and the colour illustrator, right?

74. Bonus Rooms!

For reasons unknown, hidden rooms with lots of bonuses, extra lives and other things are always hidden in at least one place in every platform game's levels. Why, no one knows. Why haven't they been ransacked yet? Probably because the money comes back when you leave.

75. The Long Level Theorem

The more fun a level will be, generally the shorter it is in general. If however this little is filled with your worst nightmares, then quite frankly, god help you, it'll be a 30 room long labyrinth from hell with demonic spiders everywhere.

76. Underwater Bosses Are Strange

They will either be the best boss ever, or, in the most likely case send you straight to an asylum with the pure frustration at the sheer difficulty as mixed in with the underwater gimmick. They will also usually crop up at least once per game, usually around the three quarters through mark.

77. The Law of Hated Gimmicks

Every time a gimmick is introduced that causes immense frustration and a genre change, that gimmick will be repeated ad nauseum through the rest of the game at the times you least want it, normally at the very end of a tough level. Sadly for you, you'll then have at least once boss battle than forces this gimmick to be mastered, a secret level of infuriating scrappiness that requires this gimmick to be mastered in a way that would make the very saints of gaming look utterly crap and if it's a bad day for you, the final boss level or even battle will require using the exact same god forsaken gimmick.

78. The Daredevil Run Rule

If a game has optional challenges to complete, or generally requires any challenges for 100% completion, one of these WILL be to get through a level or boss battle without getting hit once. Have fun watching as an innocent Mario game turns into 'I Wanna Be the Mario' in exactly one level.

79. The law of Daredevil Frustration

To rub in the last point, the daredevil missions will force you to do them on the levels least suited for the task in question, such as the three hundred floor tower of doom, the boss that kicked your ass for six hours straight until you went to Gamefaqs and had seen the game over screen 9 times and the marathon boss that has 96 seperate stages, spams the screen with bullets and where one wrong move puts you right at the beginning. If the game hates you, it will ONLY be these levels which have the daredevil run challenge.

80. The Underused Music Rule

If a piece of music is actually a good piece to listen to in your free time, it will have exactly ten seconds of playtime in the game itself. Or in other words, will not be used a whole lot and be generally difficult to record. Possibilities that this is so the company can charge for the soundtrack is still unverified at this time.

81. The Overused Music Note

Yet the incredibly boring Grass World music will be used ad nauseum until you cannot stand it. Maybe one of the developers is a bit too obsessed with this theme.

82. Good Items are Rare

The most awesome, and generally enjoyable to use items usually have roughly three uses in the entire game if you are lucky. In the saddest cases, there won't even be any real use for them other than just to get at semi random and mess around with in a limited context.

83. But Annoying Stuff Isn't

The least well designed a power up or item is, the more times you can usually expect to use the power up. Often in a dangerous, one screw up and you are stone dead type situation.

84. First Items Do Best

The first items or powers ever shown will be by far the most used in the game, and will get many hundreds of uses throughout the game with the same puzzles being recycled to make you keep using them. These items will, not surprisingly also be the most featured on the box and advertising artwork.

85. Recurring Bosses Are Pathetic

If a boss appears more than once to fight the party, it will usually be the weakest boss in the game overall, unless it's the main villain. For some reason, the evil overlord never thinks maybe to send Culex or such like to do repeated attacks on heroes. It will always be instead the utterly pathetic, usual joke character that gets beaten in ten seconds flat but has the determination of the cartoon cockroach.

86. The Backtrack Level Type

Certain games, mainly Wario Land and Saberwolf (or similar) will have a gimmick where you have to reach the end of the level, then backtrack all the way to the start as quickly as possible.

87. 2D to 3D Equals Disaster

A series that becomes a 3D game series from a 2D one will often hit all manner of flaws due to the level designs from the old series not particularly working well in the new format. This is most noticeable in the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and in utter disaster attempts such as Bubsy the Bobcat.

88. Scary Music Take Warning

You can instantly tell when a boss battle is about to start, or in the general near vincinity due to the music changing to something creepy or overly dramatic. More precisely, it usually goes completely quiet just before the boss is encountered, then starts blaring full volume out of the speakers when the boss makes their dramatic entrance.

89. Made of Cardboard

There will often be a battle against a cardboard cut out of a main villain that has quickly been assembled as an attempt to foil the hero (think Bowser on a Stik and King Kut Out). Despite these attempts looking incredibly shoddy and with the quality you'd expect of Chris Chan's drawings, they will instantly fool the protagonist, who thinks they're completely the real thing, and have ridiculously over the top powers such as laser beams, fire breath and missile launchers despite apparently being made out of spare parts in about four minutes.

90. Second Game is Hardest

Even with the steady difficulty ramp up that comes from a long game in general, the second game in a series will take difficulty to a ridiculous level, sometimes bordering on Kaizo Mario World. The third game will then either ramp it up further, instantly alienating new players, or tone it down to roughly the difficulty of the first game.

91. It's Getting Close to Battletoads Here

The longer a game is, the more the difficulty will slide towards Battletoads type insane difficulty, and thinner the boundaries between normal level design and platform hell get. God help you when you get to world 8 or the secret worlds where this line often ceases to exist.

92. Excited Titles are Fun!

There will be always be at least one level in the standard platform game with a title that reads more like a short sentence and overuses punctuation. Mirror Madness! Tilt, Bam, Slam! Yikes! Boiling Hot! At Last Bowser's Castle! You get the picture by now...

93. Six Worlds Minimum

Any game under six worlds in length will get torn apart by critics who consider it too short.

94. Kamikaze Enemies

How can an enemy that blows itself up to defeat it's attackers survive very long in the wild? Never the less, expect everything from charging living bombs to other bombs that decide attaching themself to the hero's head on a three second timer is a good idea.

95. Everything's Easier with Health Bars

Literally any platform game which goes on a health system is basically dooming itself to being nigh impossible to lose playing. This is a simple result of all damage being equal and health bars using being between at least five or so health to over twenty, making the equal damage seem rather pointless.

96. Wall Kicks Don't Work

Wall kicking in a platform game usually only exists in 3D, partly because as New Super Mario Bros proved, 2D wall kicks allow you to jump right back out of bottomless pits and skip over the top of levels.

97. Wall Kicking Up a Shaft

3D games will often have the character be able to wall kick/wall jump all the way up a vertical shaft, and will in fact require it for multiple difficult levels. This in practice should drain half their energy if not more.

98. Freezing is Nearly Harmless

Being frozen in ice will only damage your character by the initial one damage, and being unfrozen will restore them to perfect normality, no healing required. In some cases, being unfrozen is simply a case of being set on fire.

99. Underwater Music is Slow

Any music in an underwater level, bar possibly a boss battle will be slow and rather ridiculously calm.

100. New Game Plus

The new game mode which has you play as a different character will almost always be nigh identical to your experience as the primary one.

I'm going to maybe expand this later, when I have some more things to add. And yes, seeing as platform games are often so formula, there's a lot of stuff that could probably be added.

101. The Boat that Never Moves

Boats, and any other form of transport in fiction will never move from a set location, especially if they happen to the be the Big Bad villain's home base. The Shake King's ship in The Shake Dimension? In the middle of an extremely stormy sea with metres tall waves, yet might as well be anchored to the sea floor in the middle of nowhere. Same with the SS Tea Cup. Same with the Jolly Roger Bay pirate ship. Bowser's submarine. Any of the tanks in Super Mario Bros 3.

102. Does this place ever get sunlight?

Haunted houses will be in the middle of a never ending night, and will be in that state all 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for all of eternity. As will villain castles, towers and forts for that matter. Or creepy cities run by said villains. Heck, throw in Mordor as a whole here. Oddly enough, no one ever suffers any vitamin deficiencies nor do the plants die due to lack of light here, and there's never a reason while even ghosts, zombies, skeletons and the mummy need complete darkness to survive.

103. Localised Darkness

An evil or sufficiently creepy character or place will have their surroundings permanently at night with constant thunder and lightning all year round. Who knew Bowser's Castle auto generated a solar/lunar eclipse field?

104. The full moon of night

It's never anything but a full moon in a night time level. Maybe because it's easier to draw, or maybe because it looks nice. Averted by Crescent Moon Village in Wario Land 4.

105. The ROM hack rule

With any hack of a game, resources from Kirby and Donkey Kong Country are more common that from the vast majority of other games. Maybe it's that a lot of fan makers have an attachment to those series. Maybe not. Maybe it's because they've got super complex graphics and resources in general compared to plain old Mario or various obscure games.

106. The first level remake rule

Hacks of a platform game will remake the first level of the first game in the series until everyone is sick of it. Mario hacks will remake Super Mario Bros 1-1, and Sonic hacks Green Hill Zone, and so many will do this that all originality the idea may once have had is completely gone at the end of it.

107. Where does the money go?

Despite getting numerous treasures and coins from their adventures, very few protagonists ever seem remotely more well off as a result. Do Mario's coins and Sonic's rings just fall into a black hole once the adventure is over? Magically reset themselves? Wario kind of averts this though with the Wario Land series explicitily ending with him taking the money and treasure home with him and him ending up a good deal richer.

108. The Reset Button of Items and Statuses

Every hero, despite his adventuring leading him to finish with numerous new powers or abilities, starts the next adventure with nothing, and usually in small or completely helpess form. No, even the Fire Flower, Hammer Suit, Megaman powers and Kirby powers you have the end apparently vanish the moment the day is saved, ready for you to start with nothing the next time around.

109. Evil is Obvious

Since platform games have a 99% chance of an excuse plot, there will always be a clear distinction between the good guys and bad guys, usually involving the good characters looking perfect in nearly every way, and the villains looking like hideous freaks with skulls and darkness lining every inch of their being. They'll also act this obvious, a villain will act evil, for the sake of being evil, show greed and violence above all else, and will lack any form of being subtle. Heroes will basically help every average Joe that needs assistance, help the helpless, bring world peace and basically fix every single individual or organisations problems without even thinking twice. Heck, they'll even help the dang villains from their brutal deaths in story, and act like a knight in shining armour to even the most obviously evil bullies and jerks.

110. There is no grey in morality

In a primary platform game series, due to the need for simple excuse type plots, there is a line between black and white, right and wrong, good and evil. There's literally no one in between that line. Every villain will be on friendly speaking terms with every other villain, and act purely for the case of evil in the army of the most powerful one. There's apparently not a single villain in the Mario or Sonic series for example that's not allied with the villain of the day (Bowser or Eggman/Robotnik in most cases), and they will all work for the same cause; chaos, destruction and death for no reason in particular. For the matter, any character seen as 'grey' usually has about 10 minutes to either turn into a nice guy that helps the heroes, or jump right off the slippery slope to full blown super villainy.

111. The Hero and Villain Morality Parallel Issue

The direct niceness or evilness of a villain or rogue's gallery will be completely in parallel to how nice or anti hero like the main character is. If they're the messiah and cannot possibly do anyone wrong, then the villains will be pretty harmless at best and card carrying at worst. If however the protagonist is a mean, jerkass with anti hero tendencies, then the villains will be far, far worse just to make the 'hero' like favourable in comparison. Think 'kill everyone, commit every crime known to man, laugh manically while doing so' evil. Think 'Moral Event Horizon leaping' level of villainy, with complete and utter selfishness. For practical reasons, this is because the game developers want people to sympathise with the main character. Which means either they make the antagonists far, far worse in every possible moral way, or they get the hoardes of fans possibly taking sympathy with the villain after seeing he or she isn't too much worse than the hero in any respect.

112. We'll even keep the save system the same!

When there's a new game released for a long established franchise in the classic style, it'll fail to change even the negative aspects of the original, save systems, loading times, power up systems... basically, screw the player, we'll use that annoying system that should have died a long time ago because it feels RETRO!

113. Music Dissonance!

Boss music is always twenty times more epic than the fight itself. Fight's against a mere computer or human? You'll still have the epic four minute choir accompanied heavy metal remix playing in the background that will be cut short by the battle ending way before the music does. Twenty second boss fight? Will have the best music in the game.

114. Level Athletic!

Regardless of the game, there will always be a level with heavy use of jumping and moving platforms around once per world. Infuriatingly, the background here will be far more cheerful with pleasant music that the hair tearing aspect of your character plummeting to their painful death every ten seconds.

115. The Mini/Bonus Game Rule

There will be one every now and again which has very little in common with the rest of the game. Matching cards, slot machines, flying through space on a rocket, Manta Ray rides, collecting rings in a tube, matching icons or jumping over weirdos in the middle of a desert on a spare tire, all these are things which never occur outside of these select few environments, but you'll have to endure endlessly every now and again because you end up forced to play a mini game. Bonus points for an infuriating little tune that's about four seconds long or wildly inappropriate for the situation playing. Double bonus if it's possible to occur after every single level if you're lucky/unlucky. But knowing the sheer cruelty of video game designers, these will be needed to be beaten 100%, at least for 100% completion and that perfect ending you really need to experience. Controls are usually worse than the norm too.

116. The Goomba Rule

The most basic enemy will usually be some kind of waddling head on feet, which has become the Platform genre's equivalent to the RPG slime type enemy. These will usually rely on collision damage, and be completely and utterly useless without it, making you wonder just how good an army these things could actually ever be minus hands and with the attack power of the standard pet cat.

117. Regenerating Undead

The undead regenerate themselves after falling apart, with few exceptions. Expect this to be shown in the form of skeletons falling apart into a pile of bones that then magically levitates back up and into perfect order all over again. Expect them to be weak to some attack that should be just as recoverable from as anything else, if not more so. Or by falling into a lava pit. Or by just a good old fashioned hammer to the head.

118. The See Saw Rule

Despite their complete uncommoness outside of children's playgrounds and heavy machinery, there will be various platforms that swing on an axis in some way, either from the floor or the ceiling. The practical purpose of these is never stated.

119. Moving Platforms

Why are there moving platforms in castles? What utter purpose do fifty feet up platforms moving along floating lines have? I don't know, but they're stock platform game level gimmick of the year material, if not the most overused little unexplained object known to man and the universe in general. Why they're in castles... don't know. Seem to exist purely to make poor bad guys fall into a lava or bottomless pit via walking off them.

120. Here There Be Villains

If the RPG Cliches list can use it... Meh, every platformer will have a villain centered plot. I guess no one leaves their home country to just have political or business meetings? Heck, even their vacations have to lead to Mr Evil Overlord kidnapping some damsel and the hero going off to rescue her from his oh so conveniant new island base.

121. Busman's Holiday

The protagonist and friends will never get a quiet moment as long as they ever live. In no short order, regardless of whether going on holiday, visiting relatives or dreaming, they'll conveniantly encounter their long awaiting nemesis who has set up a base on the island with the holiday resort, captured some of the locals, sent in his/her private army to take over the place and captured their friends. It's like the heroes have an adventure radar, they can't travel without meeting their enemies, or at very least they'll find a new thing to adventure for at their destination... with an until now unseen new villain!

122. The Wacky World Theorem

The longer a platform game goes on for, the more strange magical lands what will start appearing. Hey, it's the music themed land with a giant killer sentinent saxophone! The toy themed world with a life sized working board game and inflatable teddy bear! The pinball machine themed world! The place made of chocolate and candy! Heck, here's the dream realm where your enemies are sentinent three headed books with magic powers and the water is bright purple! Am I going insane?

123. The Xen Theorem

The further a game goes, the less effort will usually be put into the level design and originality. This translates as world 1-6 being great, worlds 7-12 being nearly great and anything that's a secret level being pretty much lipservice as best. If you're really unlucky, it'll just be an edit of an earlier area, such as the Grand Finale Galaxy.

124. 100% Completion Sucks

Any rewards for getting 100% in a video game will be so minor as to make the entire effort completely pointless. Wait, I got 100%, beat the bonus boss and... I got this lousy star by my name and a T-Shirt? Ripoff!

125. Time is Frozen

Along the same lines as the areas that are permanently at night, the standard level will be permanently at about noon unless otherwise stated or time is a gimmick in the level. This basically means every level is apparently set to a different time of day, regardless of how long you're there.

126. The Villain Immunity Rule

Villains in platform games in general never actually die in the end, that would be way too tragic for a 'kid's' game, so they end up surviving even the most ridiculously over powered attacks and environmental effects. Black holes, the sun, lava and drowning are nothing for a good old evil overlord who decides to return a couple of hundred times.

127. Of Course I'll save the world!

Heroes are always polite enough to take up the call whenever it occurs. Anyone gets kidnapped, killed or kingdoms get conquered? The hero will be right there like a knight in shining armour. Or because he wants the money, depends on who your protagonist is.

128. Otherwise You'll Pay Rule

Saying no to saving the world has dire consequences. Such as getting thrown out your house by force and being basically told to get on with it anyway, since nobody cares what YOU think...

129. Mouse World is Local

If a level involves your character being shrunk down to enter an area, it will only be that area in which mouse world applies and you're tiny. You wouldn't want that random Goomba marching into the ant sized dungeon and looking like a fifty foot boss, right? Nor would you want those giant ants taking on the villain's elite mooks in hand to hand combat, which is the other possibility.

130. The Man Eating Plant Additional Rule

Wherever there are man eating plants (see stock enemies section), they will act far more like animals than any plant ever should. This involves roaring, speaking, throwing things like rocks and flight if you're really unlucky. Heck, their roots will act like feet to walk on, and they apparently all possess super growth that allows them to swarm a whole area in a day minimum. In some cases, despite this intelligence, they don't decide to leave the plant pot.

131. Quick Growth Rule

Plants required to solve puzzles will grow extremely quickly. Apparently, the plants go by the growth pattern of the titular plant from 'Jack and the Beanstalk', since the smallest amount of water or even hitting a block sends the vine high into the sky in mere minutes. How this then holds up our somewhat heavy main character is unknown.

132. The Non Liveable World Rule

In platform games, the locations never seem to be able to actually support the vast array of life that lives there. You never see civilisation in any real form, making you wonder where the towns/shops/hospitals/schools/prisons/police/hotels/etc actually are, although if you do visit any of the above, they will strictly exist in the sense of an obstacle or help to your mission, with some forms of enemies, no real rules you'd expect to exist, and in many platform games, no way of actually buying anything. Similarly, if you see any towns, they'll have far less than is needed to support any sized community, and often less/smaller dwellings than the inhabitants who are supposed to live there.

133. The Lack of Scale Unless Noted Theory

Any buildings or objects in video games will be far, far smaller than their real life counterparts unless noted. This includes trees being a little over 6 foot tall max, and towns made up of ridiculous low ceilings and small rooms, to the point they'd be unusable for their logical purpose.

134. Bodies of Water in Fiction are Strange

In platform game settings, things like rivers, oceans and lakes work nothing like they do in any realistic setting. Water for example will be perfectly crystal clear, regardless of whether it's in the dank castles owned by the villain, a pristine mountain wilderness or someone's back garden. It will be bright blue... despite most sources of water in the real world being a heck of a lot duller than this and the blueness from reflections only being truly noticeable in the seas and oceans. Other points of interest are a complete lack of pressure, with descents under water to a few hundred metres down being perfectly safe to the unprotected hero character, no ill effects for rising up through the water too quickly and no crushing of any object or land creature that falls right to the bottom. The water will also be relatively shallow, with the max depth in the hundreds of feet rather than metres, at the deepest possible ever circumstances, and oddly devoid of wildlife, with only the creatures that are seen as killable enemies being seen underwater, regardless of climate and general habitat.

135. Non Moving Transport

If a form of transport is a level in itself, it will never move around the actual game world, rendering it's purpose nigh on useless. This ranges from boats and trains that apparently never leave the same exact spot on the map due to having ADVENTURE! as an element, to these vehicles that go from one place to another, and being in the exact spot that you need them to be to travel to the other location. Or two places at once to be precise. When you consider the effect of tides and such like, this seems increasingly strange...

136. Swimming Fully Clothed

For some unknown reason, there is never any disadvantage of swimming in the exact same clothing as the main character is wearing for the rest of the game, despite any logical circumstances having it so wearing say, dungarees and a hat would make swimming a heck of a lot more difficult.

137. The Law of Conservation of Clothing

A platform game character will wear they same clothing regardless of mission or location. Why are they dressed the exact same in the middle of the boiling hot desert, the polar regions of the planet and underwater? Then again, you'd think travelling into Lethal Lava Land in standard clothing would fry them to death, but that nevers come up either. Yes, we feel really sorry for what Yoshi/Sonic the Hedgehog/Crash Bandicoot/Spyro the Dragon must be feeling when they explore the super cold ice world or the inside of a volcano. Are Mario's standard clothes really good enough to withstand minus one hundred degrees celsius temperatures? Ouch.

138. Do they ever eat?

Platform game characters will never eat, drink or... do anything else from the start of their adventure to the ending. Yes, it's a general video game cliche for the conveniance of the player, but you've got to wonder how Mario is surviving more than about two days on Isle Delfino when every bottle of water is being used to refill FLUDD.

139. They can breathe in space!

Being in space... or at a really altitude for that sake, is of no problem whatsoever for a platform game hero, and they will never need any form of space suit like your standard astronaut.

140. Human Cannonball

In a platform game, cannons are useful things. They fire on their own, can be aimed once you're inside, and let you cross vast distances in a couple of minutes maximum. However... how can they survive when the cannon is A: Fired using standard old gun powder and B: Without any form of helmet, they're sent at three thousand miles per house into a wall, even if that wall is a good mile away or more. Or fired to another planet. Or sent at walls like a pinball, ala Wario.

141. The 'You Have Got to be Joking' Rule

There will be times in a platform game where you will have to do completely bone headed and stupid things to progress. Jumping off the peak of a mountain to ledges a few hundred feet below is only one of those things.

142. Enemy Survival Rule

If it's not on the same ground level as the enemy, it's not affected by it. In other words, enemies are only affected by things that are both meant to be in the same level as them, and are not affected by things such as falling in water.

143. I can't swim!

Exception to the last rule, some games have it so enemies EXPLODE when they touch water. How these survived on planets with something called 'rain' is not stated.

144. The List of Standard Boss Attack Patterns

Have a drink each time one of these appears, since they're the easiest ways to program a boss in a platformer:

• The boss that runs around left and right... and just has to be attacked three times.
• The boss that does the above, except fires a projectile very slowly every few seconds.
• The non moving statue boss that spits projectiles at you at a rather slow rate.
• The flying boss that darts left and right and throws the odd attack downwards from the sky.
• The giant head with two giant fists that use various punching, slamming and general hand based attacks on the stage, with maybe a few projectiles if you're lucky.
• As mentioned in the main list, a mirror boss which is a near perfect clone of your main character. Bonus points if you have to trick them into hurting/killing themselves as they copy your actions.

145. Flip the Turtle for Massive Damage!

Every time there's a turtle or other creature with a spiky top half, your method of attack is to try and flip him over and pound his stomach in. Apparently, the shell only covers half of one of these creatures.

146. Painting Portal

If there's a painting, it's pretty often going to be a warp thingy that leads to a secret room or a parallel universe.

147. Over inflated villain egos

Villains will have an ego the size of a planet, and show it by putting their face everyone. Huge rooms filled with paintings of them are everywhere, statues of them go everywhere, their icons decorate every single object they have ever made. Heck, if you're lucky, they'll even give their names to their offspring and minions! How is your life with that unfortunate name Bowser Jr, Baby Bowsers and Mini Bowsers? Oh, and those statues aren't just for decoration you know! No siree, those are fully sentinent hero killing creatures that shoot fire, laser beams and try to smash your face into the ground with their ten ton stone fists.

148. Calling yourself EVIL!

Because nothing says villain like boasting how evil you are in your job description and CV! Why does Cannoli call his company 'International Evil Concerns Inc'? What an obvious name to get busted by police forces world wide... Really, how many evil doers through history say and actually believe they're evil and satan plus antichris reincarnate? It's a tad over the top don't you think, and marks an obvious hero target.

149. The Meaningful Name

Every character, hero and villain will have a name that's incredibly obvious and related to their role, a bad pun, or both. If it says 'doom', 'death' or 'dark', expect them to be evil. If they have a job, expect it to be a pun based on the job. Species names work similar, as if you expect every member of an evil species to be a card carrying villain.

150. Platformer Tech Power = Fluff

You never see a platformer make use of the increased console power to just go with an old graphics engine and have about three hundred levels. No, they just have to go 3D. Or have really fancy levels, fully orchestrated music and god knows what else. Oh, and the more power a game has, the more useless little knick knacks like cut scenes showing a character doing fancy poses and the character entering levels get added, as if it makes up for giving us a three minute delay before each level.