NintenDan's Random Article Number 1
Ah yes, this brings back memories... Well, NintenDan here, writing a random, spontaneous article on absolutely nothing to do with Nintendo at all. It's more to do with NintenDan and his kiddehood memories. So enough chat, I'm getting straight into it this time.
I just rewatched my little Grade Seven "Memories" DVD thingo. Now, most of you in your America of sorts might find it weird, but us Australians, (well, most of us), have two schooling stages: Primary and Secondary. Primary is years 1 - 7, Secondary is, you guessed it, 8 - 12. Now that that's been cleared up, I'll continue. So I watched the choppy DVD thingo, right. You should see some of the sugar, honey, ice and tea that is on there. Now, thankfully, I can remember back 5 minutes, and should be able to give you the scoop on it all. If you haven't pieced it together yet, I'm gonna rant about my shoddy "Memories" jargon.
First things first, I'm going to start off the whole process of making it. The teachers put us in groups, or at least we chose what groups we wanted, and then said to us "Make a video for a DVD in Windows Movie Maker". I've changed a lot back then, mind you, and stunk at technology. I probably still stink a bit now, but I know a LOT more than what I did back then. It seemed daunting, but I was probably the one who knew how to use it the most, because fortunately, for some reason too, I was commonly regarded as one of, if not the, smartest kids in the grade. Not to brag, but I was FAIRLY smart. Not too smart though. Most of the kids were just idiots. Trust me; they were IDIOTS.
So we were assigned the task of making our own movies. Seemed simple enough. But how, just how did it happen that my group's movie was ruined to the extent that anybody viewing it would think their own DVD player had carked it? I'll get to that later, and it's actually a hilarious story, so I'll stop yapping on. Each group got little video cameras and that, and the kids were like "Ooh, look at the little video cameras with their little buttons and the video recording capabilities, blah, blah, blah, I'm a little idiot" speeches and notwhat. I couldn't care less really. I only had a few true friends in Primary school, due to everybody else just not being the sort of person I'd want to befriend. (Although I must say, I was fairly shy at the time. Hence, my love for Shy Guys obviously grew during this period). But my group got cracking. We took a few photos and videos and the like, me not wanting to be in many due to my absolute HATE for photos. I still don't like 'em, probably never will. That doesn't mean I won't force a smile on the odd occasion, just not ALL the time. I hate forced smiling. That said, I CAN still smile. So I'm still normal, everybody! But yeah, took photos and the like. Didn't get much video footage. Overall, it stank like pancakes. 2 year old pancakes, that is. That were made with off-milk at the time of pancaking.
My group was virtually obsessed with freaking skateboards, whereas I only liked Nintendo and a few other things. Still got along with them though. But when the time came to take a video, we were recording for ten bloody minutes. I kept on saying "I think we got enough video" but they kept on going. We were out of class, so I was guessing they just wanted to get out of work. It wasn't soon before an angry looking teacher stomped towards us and took away our video camera privelages. I took some of the blame, but I couldn't do much about it. She wasn't going to take any supposed "excuses", albeit I would've only been telling the truth. I left it, and we took a few more photos. The time came to put a movie together. The teacher picked me and let me pick a friend in the group to pile it all in a neat little package. Good enough, I did have one true friend in the group, so off we went into some bodgy two computer room. I realised there were little to no photos than what I thought there would be. Same went for videos. The best video we got was some D-O-U-C-H-E pretending to be Steve Irwin. Swell to see that. Anyways, I slapped that one in for fun and giggles. And that was about it. Geez, I was in the Red Zone at that time. **** all content with only an hour to make it. I had to improvise. "I know!", I said to my friend. "Let's list our likes and dislikes or some crap to stall for time!". It was a great plan. I slapped my name down, put I like Nintendo, and repeated the process for all others in the group. (Of course, I didn't put they liked Nintendo either).
After all that talk about how I put it together, I bet you're dying to hear th end result, aren't you? Well, there's still more story. Once I had done it, a few days after the Teacher made an announcement. "Due to problems that I can't fix, (because I'm an idiot...), some of the videos don't match with their respective audio". That just so happened to affect my video. The video that stalled for time. What 'n the heck?! Why me? "Oh well, it sucked enough as is, surely that wouldn't make it suck more.", I thought. Boy was I wrong.
The "Final Destination" Day sprung upon us. The DVD was being given to us all. I was moderately excited. When I got home, I slapped it in and my family and I watched. After three videos, mine was on. It was then, that I realised how crappy it was. It started with some jargon about "Action" or something, and soft music played. After two seconds of that, your ears would begin to bleed from really loud "MIDI type" music that started playing. Once that torture ended, more torture began. The song I had put on was a woeful choice... It was that "We are the champions" song. You know, the "Weeeeee are the chaaampions, and so on... DUN, DUN, weeeee'll keep on fiiiighting, till the end, DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN. Weeeee arrre the chaaaampions, yooouuu geeet the pooooiiint". Yeah, that song. So far the viewers had seen terrible audio control, and the audio itself was terrible for the video. I'm pretty sure everybody would be thinking that we certainly weren't the champions at making movies. And I agree. It was terrible. Either way, our names and likes flashed up, with mine being first. I really should have checked what I had done, because this was displayed for around 7 seconds, whereas everybody else's names were for around 3. That was embarassing. After that, two photos came up, the sugar honey ice tea Steve Irwin video came up. Of course, the audio being out of time meant the crocodile that "Steve" was "fighting" was being played when "Steve" had only just encountered the "crocodile". But I forgot to mention that after the two photos and the video playing, there was 10 seconds of black screen and just audio. After the "Steve" video ended, some other crap video started playing. I was in it, but looked like an idiot. I think I was pretending to be an idiot or something. Again, the audio was out of tune, so it messed up. In the video, I nearly got a plastic bottle to the head and the like, but quickly dogded. Good fun. When that had finished, the viewers were left confused with around 58 seconds of black screen, totalling to just around 1 minute and 8 seconds of black screen throughout the entire video for our group. (That's right, I timed it). It was incredibly messed up, and words cannot describe how bad it really was.
But you know what? I enjoyed it. I laughed the most at that one than other video there is. And because today, I can find the funny in most situations, (assuming they aren't serious), I saw the funny in this terrible video, (whereas Mother was terribly disappointed to see I got just over two seconds of screen time in the whole thing), and probably remembered more than what I would from a proper video. Hopefully when other kids grow up and watch it again, they can refer to my video as the "Messed up one" or "The Black-Screen-athon". I would love that to happen. I leave, knowing that our group's video is like noneother; so messed up, it'd leave anybody craving more. Gawd, I'm so proud of it. Mostly due to the fact it just screams "NintenDan Style Insanity". Which is what I like to see.
But all this remembering has jerked some more memories! Who wants to hear about NintenDan's LURVE LIFE? I'm sure you do! Well, okay! There was a chick who wanted to go out with me, right? But I though they were bluffing. Apparently, now that I think about it, the signs were all there. But I was far too ignorant to notice. One of her friends asked me out for her, as in, "Will you go out with mah friend?". I replied with "I dunno; what am I going to tell Fat Shy Guy?", and left them all totally confused. My friend standing next to me laughed, and the others probably thought I was retarded. Well, I'm not retarded. I bloody owned my most recent School Report card, with all freakin' A's on everything. Cop that, ya friggin' stupid girl! Yeah... That was a fun time. Besides, around a year later, mah Mummy Wummy is driving me home from school, and we turn into our NO THROUGH ROAD where our house is! Well, we turn into that and just at the start of that road is the chick who wanted to go out with me and her mother, who is face flat on the ground. Wouldn't have a clue what happened, but it looked like somebody had taken care of things. My mother didn't wanna get involved, so we just walked inside, a bit creeped. Was it perhaps a sign? And why the heck did I just tell you all that? Oh well. Probably shouldn't be making fun of it. Still, on the topic, will NintenDan ever find true wuv? Or perhaps it's all more pieces to this stupid prophecy that I've been roped into ever since I was a kid. Who knows? Am I even commited enough to care about someone other than Mr. Toothbrush? Not bloody likely. But I'll probably fall in this supposed "love" as it's called and kiss that dog that's been eyeing me from across the road every now and then. I run down to get a run away tennis ball, turn to my right, and there's this sex-crazed dog staring at me. Not very happy. Then it charges at me, wanting to what I assume is "hump mah leg" but with tennis racquet in hand, I charge after it to what it assumes is "Get the $#@! outta my sight or I'll $#@!ing $#@! you're $#@!ing head up, ya little $#@!!".
Well, I should stop rambilng. This has been NintenDan, in Another Random Issue About Nothingness.
