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Cranks, Lunatics and Anti Crank Sites; The Land Where Web Design Died

cheat-master30 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:36:17 GMT

When it comes to website design online, it has been noted that usually three sources provide the worst stylings:

1. Lunatics, Conspiracy Theorists and Religious Fundamentalists

2. Educational/Research sites

3. Artistic sites made in Flash

This article, is about the first two. Yes, it's a very clear departure from the previous articles about Nintendo, which I will be revisiting after this one, but after reading a few websites by and about the standard loons online, it's just bugging me how out of date most of them are.

First things first, the conspiracy theorist/rapture coming in ten days theorist sites. It's like a three year old first messing around in Microsoft FrontPage 98 when it comes to the sense of design here. Huge, unusable pages which take about twenty minutes to fully load, fifteen different styles of font in all the colours of the rainbow and more bad writing than you can begin to comprehend, it's hard to even criticise them simply because their pages are so bad you cannot really find an argument to evaluate. The problem here of course is that no one will take them seriously, because no one can take the website design of their sites seriously enough (without a severe headache) to read all 300 pages of their theory on the rapture.

This is horrible website design.

Not to mention just how long they seem to make web pages. No joke here, I've seen 200 page files on these sites, on the home page none the less. Do they not recall that in the oh so recent times of the mid-late 90s, a thing called a 'navigation bar' became popular on websites, as did a thing called a 'search form' and another thing called 'using multiple proper pages for your content'. This is one good reason they don't have the remotest chance to getting an audience who's not completely insane, due to the fact most average people will leave before their 100 page long home page file in size 22 rainbow coloured text finishes loading.

My poor eyes, they burn!

But the problem is, many of the educational sites often use the exact same bad kind of design, the kind of design that fails to accept differences between the internet and a scientific paper (as in, one's a bunch of neatly printed pages which follows on directly from the last, and one's a set of pages which are linked together by a navigation bar and don't particularly just continue where the last page left off). Oh, and that black text on a white background (or even different colours of text) is not an accepted website design technique, and that most sites bar maybe Google try to present more than a single piece of paper.

Web design 101 please. Although the caps lock quote is so true.

Finally... UseNet and email discussion lists are practically a dead form of a communication now, and aren't too friendly for the average person. Please think about using a nice internet forum, chat room, AIM/MSN/YIM communication method, IRC chat room, Facebook group, etc for your communication methods rather than something that died back when Lycos stopped being a big deal. This is why personally, sites like Snopes and the Museum of Hoaxes are such valued resources to me, since as well as having good, reliable information, they're actually somewhat technologically up to date, and look actually remotely professional.

The Museum of Hoaxes. Anyone trying to dispell bad information should take a leaf from this site's book, it's far more up to date and generally professional looking than most others.

That's the end of that then. Comments? Opinions? Post them below. If your entire reply is that DS Ultimate is nowhere near a professional looking site, please don't comment.

New Super Mario Bros Wii... My Final Impressions

cheat-master30 — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:05:18 GMT

With the time of my purchase of this game literally a single day away, I am growing more and more excited about this game's very promising return to the classic Mario series. However, like all games, there are still a few (thankfully minor things) that could be improved... so keep this as my final verdict until I buy the game tomorrow.

First things first, I adore the graphics and music. Okay, I don't quite love the former as much as the latter, being that it's the same old style of graphics the DS game uses, only at a higher general quality. But the music is just plain amazing, especially the castle and ghost house music.

This is ace, just like the past castle theme tunes.

As is this. Not as good as the music for Crescent Moon Village though.

However, while about 99% of the music is fresh, exciting, and generally more epic than the last games in the series (it makes Super Mario World look like 'Mario Fun Time Happy Vacation' in comparison), the tower music is pretty awful, being just the DS tower music. Poor, especially as the DS had a good castle theme tune that should have been remixed instead.

Oh, and the ghost house music could have been in Wario Land The Shake Dimension, it reminds me of the music in Bad Manor/Boogie Mansion.

shH-6N_W3w0

For comparison purposes...

I would however like to say that the boss battles in the game look truly epic. When I originally thought Koopalings, I was thinking 'oh boy, this is back to the semi dull Super Mario World/Super Mario Bros 3 bosses'. Wrong. Each has a unique fighting style, and arena. And the second time, Kamek makes the battle even better, which is really, really interesting. My favourites so far though:

1. Iggy Koopa and the Chain Chomp
2. Ludwig von Koopa on elevator platforms
3. Bowser Jr in father's Clown Car
4. Same as above, except you use a Clown Car yourself.

How is the battle at about 50 seconds in not one of the most interesting boss battles in the classic Mario series yet?

Oh, and even Bowser Jr is interesting here. Remember the last game, where the fortress fight was the same of two variants? Not here, the Koopalings each have a unique attack style, and Bowser Jr fights you three completely different ways with the clown car. He's also only fought three times, which is good.

Oh, and you can finally fight Kamek. Considering that's never happened in a mainstream Mario game, and that he always tried to avoid a real battle in Yoshi's Island, it means you can now smash his head in. Always a good thing.

I'm also thinking how great the game is looking level wise. Seriously, nine worlds? The idea of a special world (Rainbow World), using the exact same shape as the Star World in Super Mario World and the music of Rainbow Road is great alone, especially as New Super Mario Bros for DS never even though of having this kind of bonus. Unlocking levels with star coins is a neat concept too, even though it seems there's no real final super secret castle with tough boss in the Rainbow World.

I am interested in how the items work too. I'm actually a bit worried about the Propeller Suit to be honest, it sounds like it could be harder to use than the P Wing or Cape. But the Penguin suit is just plain... win. As is the Ice Flower, which finally has an effect you would expect it to have. And it's a Mario and Luigi Partners in Time reference, which is rare!

All in all though, I just want it because it's a Mario game, which will have great level design, you've got the Koopalings and Bowser Jr finally together in a game with unique boss battles, about half the old enemies return and it's filled to the brim with references to the past Mario games. How could you want more than that?

In Which You'd Never Know these were Mario Games

cheat-master30 — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:08:35 GMT

It's been done before, but can you recognise any of the following games from the deliberately unclear descriptions I conjure up? Note how they're a lot darker than people assume the games that they describe are from first appearances, which is part of the idea.

In a land torn apart by constant war and famine, a once unknown hero comes and defeats the nigh unstoppable demon king that has ravaged the lands. Exploring vast plains, caverns and dreary forts, he defeats endless hoardes of horribly mutated monstrosities under the mind control of the evil king and frees the despairing and ruined citizenry of the kingdom.

Game: Super Mario Bros

Explore the disturbing and psychotically broken dreams of the populace in this tragic adventure, fighting back the very forces of darkness and nightmares themself. Can our hero save a land on the verge of collapse from a tyrant from a land unknown, defeat horrific creatures of which the mind can not comprehend and free the innocent sprites which bring hope to the world?

Game: Super Mario Bros 2

On a desolate island many miles from known civilisation, a race of savage turtle creatures have viciously attacked and captured the natives, transforming a once pristine country into a battlefield of soldiers, minefields and gloomy settlements. At this same time, a humble plumber and his friends the princess and his brother are on vacation on this once island paradise, when the princess gets captured and taken to locations unknown. Can our brave hero save the day?

Game: Super Mario World

On a dreary Christmas eve, the first testing of a mysterious device to allow inter dimensional travel is first operated, and the subject gets sent to another realm. With no return, and apparent invaders trying to escape to the present day through the void, will our main characters team up with their counterparts and save the world from a fate worse than has ever been conceived, while attempting to stop these monsters and their genocidal plans?

Game: Mario and Luigi Partners in Time

A lone, scared individual journeys deep into a desolate mansion haunted by the spirits of the undead, in a hopeless search for his brother. Armed with only a torch light and an unlikely weapon, will he ever defeat the horrors that lurk within, rescue his trapped brother, or ever see day light again?

Game: Luigi's Mansion

In a tragic piece of literature which spans heaven and hell, fate and free will, four brave heroes are left to stop the imminent armageddon. With entire worlds and civilisations ceasing to exist all around them, will they be next?

Game: Super Paper Mario

Shortly after a devastating attack on a peaceful town, a familiar foe is back with a plan that could lead to his iron fisted dictator like rulership of the universe. Armed with no more than some magic and the ability to not be hindered by space, can the average man defeat him, by conquering worlds beyond our wildest dreams and nightmares? All while the end is nigh...

Game: Super Mario Galaxy

Surprised by the games these describe? Well, none of the descriptions are lying. They're exaggerating the way it's presented, but there are no lies here, just a sinister alternate look at the plot lines of some of the most well known and loved games of all times, of which appear far less innocent. Can you figure out these characters though?

A skilled bounty hunter, this man has risen from ordinary beginnings to become the most feared power in the universe, as well as the one of which most people admire. His skill with pyrotechnics, his admirable stamina and his sheer determination have helped him triumph against opponents that many weaker men would have failed versus, and yet he never gets tired of the same.

Character: Mario

A feared and ruthless ruler of a powerful country, this individual controls millions without even the slightest consideration of them. They spend millions of tax payers money on lavish parties and social events for the elite, while fighting back the vicious neighbouring kingdoms with foreign mercenaries who get nigh anything in return for their efforts.

Character: Princess Peach

A feared sociopath, someone beyond any form of empathy or kindness, he plans to create and destroy all. Working in the greatest secrecy for many thousands of years, this terrifying individual has manipulated many of the greatest minda and villains in the history of the series, and all for his one goal. Nothing will stop him working towards it, and he plans for everything, for all.

Character: Dimentio

Conquering worlds, destroying all the hope that remains there, this person is of machine like ruthlessness, and a character to be villified in whatever ways possible. He is beyond any sympathy, thinking only of himself, wanting to bully people into a miserable life of suffering and sending out his infinite armies to spread this upon the multiverse. He's the moral guardians worst fears personified.

Character: Smithy

Interesting isn't it, how you can portray even the nicest characters as complete monsters and psychopaths. What of course is more interesting is that none of this is a lie, nor an exaggeration. Everything here happens in a Mario game, every character here exists in that universe. But the way it's portrayed, you'd think it was some dark and edgy movie or a game with an 18 rating on the front of the box. A world with the darkest in the possible shades of morality.

Tails Doll: Chapter 1: I first meet Tails Doll

mariobros2 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:50:43 GMT

Chapter 1: I first meet Tails Doll

I was playing Sonic R and I was playing Tag Mode. I tagged Super Sonic with Tails Doll. But as soon I tagged Super Sonic the game frozed. But Tails Doll was still moving. Than Tails Doll turned around and started moving toward the screen. Then it jumped out of the screen and landed on me. Everything went white. After 2mins I woke up at Resort Island. I got up on my feet and started to walk around. When I got about 10ft from where I woke up I saw Tails Doll. It was just floating their looking at me again. After awhile I said "Tails Doll" out loud. Tails Doll turned around and ran toward me. He took out a knife and stabbed me with it. [COLOR="red"]"Does it hurt"[/COLOR] said Tails Doll with an angry tone. "Yes it does hurt Tails Doll". I said in a low voice. After awhile with the knife still in me Tails Doll gave me two choices. One: You become his slave and be his puppet. Two: Tails Doll devours your SOUL. I picked choice number one. He took the knife out and told me that he wants me to collect souls for him. I asked "Why do you need souls?". [COLOR="Red"]"Noun of your business slave"[/COLOR] said Tails Doll. Then out of the blue I was hit with a rock. I turned around and I saw Machines throwing rocks. I said "Those Machines are from imagination." then Tails Doll gave me a punch in the arm. [COLOR="Red"]"Those Machines are your enemies from your World."[/COLOR] said Tails Doll. Then he pointed toward were there was a storm. He said [COLOR="red"]"That way is were Radicat City is. Just on the otherside of the Woods."[/COLOR] After awhile Tails Doll gave me a weird look like he wanted something from me. I asked "Tails Doll are you sad about something?" Tails Doll got angry with me and said [COLOR="red"]"I'm not sad!"[/COLOR] but he still looked sad. "Well if you need anything let me know." I said in a kind voice. [COLOR="red"]"Uh...ok"[/COLOR] said Tails Doll. Then when it was noon and it was starting to rain I said "I have to get going bye." and I was off to Radicat City. Meanwhile Tails Doll staed behind to watch me go to Radicat City. After that Tails Doll went to the otherside of Resort Island and talked to Metal Sonic, Metal Knuckles and Metal Amy about me is their enemy. So now Tails Doll sent three enemies on my tail. Tails Doll sent Metal Sonic to Radicat City. The others are Unknown.

Oh DevastatorRRRRRRRRRr2000. ...

MrLuigi — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:41:31 GMT

[url]http://dsultimate.net/Board/upload/group.php?groupid=536[/url]

Epic fail. I mean this is completly idiotic. I'll play along until someone owns you with a ban-hammer.

Im BACK!!!

mcgahee3 — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:41:21 GMT

sorry for not being on in a LONG while...
Computer is down for 4 months turned out to be a motherboard problem....
After i fixed it (by myself) my moms leg broke.... not like oh.... 6 weeks and walking fine...like 3 weeks in Hospital and no walking will New Years Day...
If you want proof....or just want to see it go here....
http://dsultimate.net/Board/upload/a...p?albumid=1232
oh.... thats with the brace and she now has that off and a rod in here leg for the rest of her life.... :( so thats it

On Why Mario is Not a Communist

cheat-master30 — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:27:59 GMT

With Nintenzone already having one member answering this guy back, and this loon drawing ridiculous political comparisons between the Mario series and communism, I thought it was ripe time for me to end this once and for all. In this article, with the backing of the entire DS Ultimate site and my infinite knowledge of Mario games, I will crush flat the entire Mario communist crud here and then. Want to finally shut up the Mario as political metaphor loons? Read on.

But aside from the slightly racist stereotyping of Mario and Luigi as food loving, NY fat bodies with ridiculous Italian accents, was there anything really insidious behind the scenes?

You can tell right away this is not going to be a particularly insightful read. Especially when they draw the 'Mario as racist Italian caricature' card. Oh, and remember this folks... the Brooklyn stuff is pure fanon. It's pure crap to put it bluntly, they were born in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Ending of Yoshi's Island. Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Luigi's parents and house shown.

The staff here at Murderize.com has found something more, something� sinister� lurking behind the moustached countenances of Mario and Luigi. We don�t have enough evidence to prove anything, just a sparse trail of breadcrumbs to follow. And this trail begins with the game that started it all, Super Mario Bros. Beware brainwashed fools, for this stunning expose will change the way you look at your favourite Nintendo hero forever. No longer the innocent Brooklyn plumbers, it now appears Mario and Luigi are nothing more than communist puppets engineered to program, oh so subtly, Marxist ideals into our impressionable minds!

Wow, what an incredibly subtle domain name this is! It describes perfectly what you're doing to the Mario series canon quite nicely.

Oh, and when evidence is sparse... this might usually be taken as a sign of 'random, pure rubbish epileptic trees and being on the completely wrong tangent. Like the people who claim to see Jesus in trees and pieces of toast.

First things first, this is where I'll stop the full quoting. Only a certain amount is legally allowed you know. And before we start, I'll get the obvious 'this video is the best depiction of Mario as a communist' bit out of the way as well:

But this is not the Mario series, at least not the canonical version of it. For that matter, Miyamoto as far as I can tell wanted something very much non political, and the story in each game is a mere excuse for you to jump on Goombas and save princesses from villains.

Exhibit A: Mario�s Colour Scheme

So that's your evidence? Mario wears red, and hence because communists have red in the background of their flag, he's apparently a communist? So according to this logic, someone who's a matador waving a red rag around to send a bull charging at him is flagging down in support of the communist regime?

Sorry, but that's just silly. That'd be like saying Coca Cola supports communism because it's corporate logo is red.

But let's go a bit further, and say exactly why Mario has that colour scheme. Note first that Super Mario Bros, is on the NES. The NES, is a very early home console with limited support for colours. It's an eight bit console. It has support for about 48 colours. This limits quite a bit, as does the limited sprite size (about eight times eight pixels).

If Mario was hugely multi coloured with god knows what colours everyone, no one would even be able to see any detail in the sprite itself. But his design goes back to the arcade. Limited colours forced the red colour scheme. The red and blue is to see the difference between the shirt and overalls, and the white gloves is to see Mario's arms when they move on screen.

That's why his colours are like so.

Exhibit B: The People�s Hero

While Mario is supposedly fighting against a tyrannical Despot, we can see how expendable the people become when they hinder Mario�s bloodthirsty pursuit for power.

This makes no sense. I get the slow witted part, the Mushroom people (Toads) are quite frankly complete idiots. But expendable? What evidence do you even have for this? If you were going by the first game, the only possible thing I can see is Mario abandoning the Toads, but let's be honest, he has to save the rest first. In the later games, there's none of this stuff at all. He helps the Toad people, or anyone else who needs help. They usually help him in return too.

Exhibit C: King Koopa

He's not called that in English speaking countries...

But okay, you think Mario is communist because he's trying to dethrone a king. Yeah, an evil king at that. However, this is a very, very common occurrence in media, and they're not communist:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...tocratsAreEvil

It's not particularly strange for a work, and seems a way of appealing to the masses if anything. But let's also evaluate your idea that there are only evil kings he's trying to overthrow to start a communist regime. Hell, here's a bunch of good aristocrats in the series, who Mario supports:

You played Super Mario Bros but forgot about Peach?

Daisy, the damsel in distress in Super Mario Land.

Prince Peasley, from Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga. Luigi likes him too much.

Queen Bean, from the same game, when she's cured from bean fever.

Mario restores the Nimbus royal family in Super Mario RPG, and kicks out Valentinia and Dodo.

King Fret and Prince Pine are helped by Mario and Yoshi in Yoshi's Safari.

Okay, so lots of artistocrats are evil. But hey, it's more that most villains call themselves aristocrats when they gain any sort of power.

Exhibit D: Mario�s Flag Switching

What�s that flying high over the ramparts? The Peace symbol of the Mushroom Kingdom? The Stars and Stripes? The Olive Branches of the United Nations? No, we can see quite clearly it�s the Star of Russia. Go check for yourself, these pictures are not faked.

Not going to argue, but considering stars are important, it might be a coincidence and due to tech limitations. For that matter, they replaced the flag in New Super Mario Bros.

It's a skull in All Stars. And it's either a black skull or a red skull before Mario takes it down in New Super Mario Bros (and the Wii sequel).

He raises a flag with the Mushroom Kingdom logo. Not a red star. Retcon maybe?

This paints him more a brave freedom fighter if I say so myself.

Oh, and he doesn't jump on the flag for any political symbolism either. Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix answers that:

Why jump on the flagpoles?

Answer: Why not?

Exhibit E: Mario�s Family Resemblance?

The old Mario looks like Stalin point. Well, Charlie Chaplin looked like Adolf Hitler moustache wise, and they've got nothing in common.

The moustache is because it made his nose more visible, and stood out more.

One's a comedian, one's a dictator. Kinda like Mario and Stalin, which refutes your argument quite well.

With that said, the argument fails. Mario ain't a communist, no way sir! Not that stops some people portraying as one in fan games, at least this level of the Kouhai/Black series:

Land of communism. Note how this never happens in game.

And an inversion:

Land of Capitalism.

Ten Mario Related Things I Don't Want to See Again

cheat-master30 — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:28:19 GMT

In response to the post on Waluigious where he mentions five overused gaming pieces of content that spring up on all the social networks and blogs, I came up with my own list. But it wasn't really fleshed out, and since then, I have improved on the idea with a few more Mario related pieces of content that need to burn in hell.

http://www.waluigious.com/2008/04/in...s-anymore.html

1. Mario Kart/Mario in Real Life

A classic meme going around sites that share Youtube videos, there have been countless videos where some random person is trying to act as Mario or Luigi and either running and jumping around like a lunatic, or driving like crazy down a main road in a makeshift Go Kart.

This was all very well and good when Stupid Mario Brothers was fresh and new. I don't mind that example, they seem to make it actually somewhat funny, or at least have an interesting plot. But do we need the fifty thousand imitators?

Nor do we need the plain old real life Mario videos either. You simply look like a right twit in them...

Enough please.

2. Recoloured Mario Sprites as New Characters

Worse in the Sonic the Hedgehog fandom, I'll admit, but this is another thing way too many fans seem to make for comics and fan games. Seriously, it's not good story design, nor character design to colour Mario pink and green, call him Bob and say he's a long lost cousin from another planet who's been seperated at birth.

For that matter, a quick fake example to illustrate:

Not at all good characters.

3. Mario meets Sonic the Hedgehog

Basically, first things first. Mario lives in the Mushroom World, and Sonic either lives on Earth, or Mobius depending on what source you believe. They do not coinhabit the same video game planet. Nor are all the characters ever created living in the same universe.

Secondly... keep them out of each other's games and fan games please. We don't need any game where Mario goes through the Green Hill Zone, or Sonic goes through the Mushroom Kingdom, which are usually bad in the first place. We also don't need ridiculous plots where they team up to fight evil or rival each other, Super Smash Bros Brawl and Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games not withstanding.

This is Mario. He has nothing to do with Sonic the Hedgehog.

This is Sonic. Same thing as above, swap the names.

4. Mario the Communist

Sigh, when people try and tie the Mario series into politics, it becomes an absolute joke. First of all, Mario is not a communist. Yes, he's red, has a moustache and is trying to dethrone an evil monarch. But he's got nothing else to do with them. His moustache doesn't make him Stalin 2.0.

Similarly, don't try and waste my time by tying Super Mario Bros into the Soviet Russia thing. It's a coincidence, enough said. Even though there are some catchy videos about this.

I know this is a funny video, but that's all it is.

Someone took this way too far...

http://thrakks.deviantart.com/art/Th...phant-44481583

Not this again.

5. Realistic/Dark Mario Pictures

Another favourite of bored people on message boards, and a certain user who goes around trying to gross people out with them, it seem everyone and their dog has drawn these kinds of things recently.

It was a good idea at first, trying to see how creepy Mario would be if he was made more 'realistic'. I remember the interest I had when seeing the first few. But then, it just got a bit over the top. Do we need to see Mario untooned? Mario and Bowser as human and Bowser kissing the Princess? Realistic Mario and Peach? Fifty thousand Mario art styles which look less and less like Mario and more a hybrid freak of nature?

To be honest, no we don't. If you really want to see the kind of thing I'm talking about, look here:

http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl...-8&sa=N&tab=wi

6. Remixes of the Mario Theme on Strange Instruments

We've heard the Mario theme tune. We've heard on various other instruments, and in other games. The problem however... is this these versions of the theme are just beating a dead horse.

Think about it for a few seconds. The theme is memorable. But it's so damn overused as it is, and then people play it on instruments other than those Nintendo played it on. Sadly, this is getting so, so repetitive now. Yes, it's a good theme. But do we really need it played by fifty two orchestras, three people on guitars, shown in Guitar Hero, played with RC car going past glass bottles and on the theremin?

The original. Also, where it probably should have stopped.

Okay...

Yay I guess?

For God's sake...

Please end this already...

7. Luigi as evil Villain Jealous of His Brother

Something that seems extremely common of Mario World ROM hacks made in Japan, although it's probably come up with stuff made here as well. I wrote an article about it recently:

http://dsultimate.net/Board/upload/blog.php?b=1213

The problem is... it's nothing like what Luigi is as a character. He's been evil once, and that was with brainwashing by Nastasia in Super Paper Mario. He's not an evil crazy guy who wants to kill Mario for hogging the lime light, yet that's how he's always portrayed in the Japanese fan media. Why, I don't know, but it's illogical, it's overused, and it's ridiculous.

Why is Luigi trying to shoot Mario with a plane?

He's even killed by positive energy if he collect all the Dragon Coins...

8. Fan Yoshi and Koopa Characters

Which are like the furry fandom of the Mario series, and are the two most ridiculously fantasized about species in the fandom. Why? I don't know. We don't need any more fan Koopas and Koopalings. Nor do we need any Mary Sue like Yoshis.

Damn you Yoshi Art. Damn you Lemmy's Land (second one is a great site, but some of the content is...). For that matter, even everyone's favourite disturbing guy chris-chan is into this stuff:

Someone who's too obsessed with this kind of art

9. Super Mario Bros 1 as Pinnacle of Video Game Design Articles

Another overused content cliche, especially among inspiring academics of video games that apparently haven't played any since the 80s, there are a heck of a lot of articles talking about the Super Mario Bros 1 game is some perfection of all game design. Now, us Mario fans know that's not really the case (Super Mario Bros 3, World, 64 and Galaxy are way better for most fans), but these people write articles treating it like it's some fact.

A few things to note is how ridiculously contrived these articles are. One I think said how the 'empty space to the right at the beginning of level 1 inspires to journey right and realise that their goal is to go to the right side of the screen'. A lot of people also seem to be think it's some perfection in difficulty balance too...

It's a good game, but it's not the messiah. It might also be useful for many intelligent writers to realise the Mario series doesn't end with the first game on the NES.

Great game? Yes. Perfection in cartridge form? No.

Something I REALLY Do Not Want to See

Mario Shipped with Bowser

Before I read the 'Foe Yay' page on TV Tropes, I assumed most Mario fans were rational, well minded people. And then I realised that some actually ship Mario with Bowser.

In case you don't know why this is severe brain bleach inducing, this is what shipping is, in the fan world:

"Shipping" (ostensibly derives from "Relationship", though it might as well be "Worship"...or indeed "Warship") means rooting for fictional romance.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Shipping

This is Foe Yay, because I'm not going to quote from it to keep DS Ultimate family friendly:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FoeYay

Look at the picture on the Video Games page. It's a scene from Super Mario RPG, and thankfully an accidental scene.

This is already gross. Even more so when Booster kisses Mario at the same time.

But the sheer presence of it, and the Mario series on such pages leads to one heck of a disturbing thought... fan fiction. Including Mario in a romantic relationship with Bowser. Apparently there are people who support this. You can shut down your brain now, as this was my reaction:

Agree with the list? Think your brain is going into melt down from the sheer horror of the last possibility?

In Which the Super Mario Bros 3 Intro is Irrelevant

cheat-master30 — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:47:11 GMT

Think back to Super Mario Bros 3, and it's introduction scene. No, not the awesome part where the airship attacks the castle and Larry Koopa transforms the King into an animal, but the bit with the Koopa Shell and racoon tail. Do you notice something odd about this scene?

Not this bit. This aspect is awesome.

This part.

Notice what happens when the shell hits Mario. He turns back into Small Mario. This seems normal, right?

Well... no. In the original Japanese version, this scene makes sense. Mario goes from Fire/Racoon to Small Mario from a single hit. But in the American (and European) versions, he goes back to Super Mario after being hit once.

Evidence:

In the Japanese SMB3, Super/Fiery/Raccoon/Frog/Tanooki/Hammer Mario all will revert to small Mario after taking damage. The English version is more lenient, allowing a damaged Fiery/Raccoon/Frog/Tanooki/Hammer Mario to regress only one step to Super Mario.

http://themushroomkingdom.net/smb3_j-e.shtml

This makes sense in the original, because I'm assuming they didn't have time (or couldn't be bothered) to admend the cut scene. But in the remakes, this is a bit lazy, and probably confusing for anyone who's not played the NES version or knows of region differences. Super Mario All Stars has the changed power up system I think for all countries, as does the Super Mario Advance 4 version. It's all not as if it would be a difficult thing to change to be honest, since they already remade every sprite in the game, and made massive amounts of minor changes to levels to remove glitches and such like.

Maybe this is just a regional mistake? An oddity? For that matter, it's odd why the game didn't even have MUSIC in the original intro...

What Genre is the Mario series?

cheat-master30 — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:36:14 GMT

No, before you're asking, this is not at all talking about video game genres. I know most Mario games are platformers, that some are RPGs and Mario Kart games are driving games. But video game genres don't seem to say a lot about how to classify a game in terms of it's story content, and that is what this article is about. In the classic literature, TV or movie genres, what would Mario as a franchise be classified under? It's actually a far trickier question than once thought, believe it or not.

First things first, I know a few people who will say it's either a Fantasy work, or what TV Tropes classifies as a work based in the 'Magical Land' genre. To much of a degree, this is relatively plausible. However, Mario clashes with quite a few aspects of these that makes it a bit more difficult to place. Take Fantasy for example, based on the TV Tropes description of the genre:

As noted here, a work in the Fantasy genre usually has these elements:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fantasy

A secondary world. The setting can be a tricked-out version of our present day world, the remote past or future, or simply a-hisotorical. The inhabitants can be anything from human only, through the standard elves, dwarves and orcs, to a complete Fantasy Kitchen Sink. See Standard Fantasy Setting for the, er, standard fantasy setting.

No idea what a hisotorical is, I'm going to assume they mean historical, or maybe a concept no one recognises online. But truth be told, this is the first problem. The Mario series doesn't take place on Earth. Or for that matter, a universe that's much like Earth in any way other than some physics. It's not medieval, that's for sure.

[quote[

Appeal to a pastoral ideal. Much genre fantasy, of all genres, appeals to the pastoral ideal, one reason for the pseudo-medieval settings. Even urban fantasies will quite often depict cities as blots on the landscape, whose denizens are blinded to what really matters by material ephemera. There are some fantasies, however, which deliberately take the opposite stance.

[/quote]

Mario takes neither stance. That's one problem, it has no meaning in the story other than 'good vs evil'. Everything can be good or evil, more based on whether they're in Mushroom Kingdom or Dark Land. Cities are portrayed as good (Diamond City, Toad Town, Mushroom City) and bad (likely some, but I can think of Neon City in Wario Land). Forests are seen as good (most Mushroom Kingdom), and bad (Forest of Illusion). Technology is seen as good (E Gadd and his inventions) and bad (Dreadnought and Battlerock Galaxies, Bowser's fleet).

Magic And Powers, specifically Functional Magic, either respected, feared, persecuted, disbelieved, either common as in legend, through to rare but available to the well connected, up to a ubiquitous part of everyday life.

True. See, Magic Wands, power ups, Magikoopas, etc.

So how about the Magical Land sub genre then? Again, this is problematic, according to another TV Tropes description:

The "another world" part of Trapped In Another World. It may lurk down a rabbit hole, at the bottom of a pool, over a mysterious mountain range, or through a wardrobe What is certain is that people from other worlds will be visiting it. Usually the Magical Land is Another Dimension or time period or some sort, but it can also be a mysterious "unexplored territory", uncharted island, or Lost World.

First things first... pretty much no one from another universe does visit the Mushroom Kingdom. Okay, Super Paper Mario establishes multiple dimensions and universes, but none of those are any more real than the Mushroom World is. Which makes the description problematic.

Usually feature some sort of sentient non-human species.

This is true of the Mario series. A lot more than one species in fact.

Are almost always a monarchy.

True, although not of all Mushroom World areas, I don't think...

Contain magic.

True.

Are relatively small compared to the "real world".

Big, big problem. The Mushroom World is probably bigger than Earth is, and many, many times more complex. Okay, you never see of all it, but it is.

Usually welcome young heroes from other worlds swooping in and saving the day, even if they're obviously inexperienced in using swords and sorcery and underpowered, they'll still be The Chosen One.

Nope.

Lack any technology beyond 1923, if they even got that far, even if thousands of years pass throughout its history.

Massive problem. The Mushroom World has a strange tech level which is never explored. And by that, I mean a woefully all over the place tech level, or advancement level. Three feet from the modern town is the prehistoric world, three feet from that is the medieval village, as well as the later medieval areas, that victorian type mansion and stuff from the far future. You've got weapons from all eras (including LIVING, SENTINENT ones), robots, magic and all out everything and the kitchen sink.

It's also problematic to both the above in that internal logic is practically non existant. Okay, some exists, people don't spontaneous change in cats which turn into flowers, but... things like how death works, how characters can breathe underwater and power level is plain... odd. A quick illustration of some of the strangeness:

Mario can swim underwater indefinitely in all 2D games.
Mario can't swim underwater indefinitely in all 3D games
Mario can breathe in space indefinitely in Super Mario Galaxy, but not stay underwater for infinite periods of time.
Mario can swim underwater indefinitely in Super Paper Mario... but can't breathe in space. Unless he wears a fishbowl on his head.

Other genres are equally problematic. It might be an Adventure Fiction series for the platformers and RPGs... but it's certainly not for the sports spinoffs and karting games.

It's not science fiction, because most elements can't be explained under scientific or natural laws, nor make sense in any way based on physics. In fact, the series actively defies them with floating blocks and water among other things.

Not quite science fiction.

It's generally not in the horror genre either, although Luigi's Mansion arguably straddles the line between this and various other fiction types.

Not quite horror...

There's no possible way on Earth you can think of it as a Western or a Crime based series.

It's not mystery fiction either in most cases, although both Mario Party Advance and Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door had this for certain levels/chapters.

He's a detective, but Mario isn't a detective series.

It's also not a Tragedy, although some snarky fans make think so of the movie, Yoshi's Topsy Turvy and the educational games. All seriousness be told though, even Mario and Luigi Partners in Time wouldn't be tragic enough for the series to ever fall into this genre.

May or may not be a thriller, depending on how greatly you think Mario is outmatched by his opponents.

Don't even think about saying Mario games are romance stories. Mario probably wishes they were, but he never gets anything more than a kiss from Peach.

Not that romantic.

It's got elements of TV show genres though. There have been game shows:

The 64th Trivia Quiz Off!

It's not a parody, although the TV show went a bit overboard with making it one, with Frankenstein, James Bond and Indiana Jones getting parodied by the Super Show.

Star Koopa. Two guesses what this is a parody of, and the first doesn't count.

It's also not quite weird enough to be a widget series, although there is one Mario spinoff which clearly is:

Feline Fever!

So, if you had to classify the Mario series under a literary/TV/movie style genre, what would you classify it under?

Attached Thumbnails

Why is Luigi always evil in Japanese Super Mario World hacks?

cheat-master30 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:15:36 GMT

What with Super Mario World YEAHHHH!! having an epic final boss battle with Luigi as the last section of the game, I seem to be noticing a minor pattern with all these Japanese games... Luigi seems to be some kind of satanic evil demon that wants to kill Mario to escape his brothers shadow in nigh on all of them!

Not that this is too implausible, since at least one real Mario game had Luigi as a villain for the good part of the story, but... did the Japanese get really, really inspired by Mr L somewhere along the line?

Why is Luigi always like this in Japanese ROM hacks?

This trend has been in quite a few games I can think. First up, Brutal Mario. Now, before that fancy new updated overworld some people seem to have seen in the game, there were pictures of the final world in Brutal Mario, and the final level seems to be Luigi's Castle.

Other clear examples include this hack in Kouhai/Black series, where Luigi fights Mario in the Sky Pop. And fires lots of hammers at the same time:

Severe family issues Mario...

This however is not the only example. The final boss in one of the other games in that series... was a bunch of Luigi heads in four corners of the screen. Although that might be a Weegee reference.

Other examples exist too:

Similarly, Super Mario World YEAHHHH!! has an example:

Which as you may have guessed, raocow played in his recent LP as well:

More Luigi as a villain?

Now, this isn't all the examples. I know that for example there's another boss like this where a Big Boo was edited into a Luigi head and small Luigi sprites kicked shells at it to cause damage. Probably others too. But what is with these Japanese hacks and their obsessions with making Luigi into a villain?

A Quick History of the Super Mario Bros Castle Theme Music

cheat-master30 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:12:58 GMT

When it comes to favourite music in the Mario series, or Nintendo games as a whole, there are a variety of songs that I sort of like listening to, and a few types of levels which usually have decent enough music compared to the average stuff found in the rest of the game. However, the castle themes, in my experience, are probably the best of the lot in general quality, and unlike any other level theme in the series, they seem to be improving on a per game basis with very few past the NES being mediocre. So here's a quick history of them, with the music provided by various Youtube videos so you can see for yourself.

Note: In Chronological Order.

Super Mario Bros

Pretty boring compared to the modern tunes, the original Super Mario Bros had some short, memorable music. Oddly enough, in the first game, the castle theme was pretty average, and I'd say the overground music was better.

Super Mario Bros 2

So generic, I can't remember nor find a video of it, but it's the music from the levels with the bosses.

Super Mario Bros 3

Getting slightly better, the creepy music for the fortresses and castles was fairly good. Not great yet, but hey, that'll wait until the next entry...

Super Mario World

Possibly some of my favourite Mario music, and made even funnier by the Something Awful changed 'Roy's Castle' version with lyrics, this is a pure classic of Mario music, and out of all the original themes in the game, this is probably the best.

For the record... This is Roy's Castle!

Super Mario Land

What? Super Mario Land had castle levels? Not really, and the game was pretty poor in terms of general design... but it did have a minor saving grace in the music of the third level, which got a great Super Smash Bros Brawl remix, and sounds very Egyptian:

I personally remember it purely because of that sphinx like boss that lurked at the end of the level.

Super Mario Land 2

Not as great as some of the others, but this was the superior Mario Game Boy game, and had a great final level with decent music before you fought Wario in that epic three stage battle.

It had punching Wario fists, lots of skulls... and Fred.

Yoshi's Island

Another great piece of castle music, and possibly better than the Super Mario World one, Yoshi's Island had some nice castle and fortress level music to go before the great boss battles at the end of each.

Personally, I preferred the castle levels before Roger the Potted Ghost, Naval Piranha, Hookbill the Koopa, Rapheal the Raven and Bowser personally. Just had decent level design, and interesting boss battles. Sadly, the DS game offered nowhere near as good music as this, especially for the castle levels (although the final boss and Kamek themes were okay).

Super Mario 64 (Bowser's Road)

Not a castle, but let's face it, Princess Peach's Castle has pretty much boring music, and wouldn't work for the article. But Bowser's levels had some great music, which got remixed for Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics and Super Mario Galaxy, and improved tenfold:

^Winter Olympics version

^ Original version

New Super Mario Bros

Surprisingly, I thought New Super Mario Bros was a great game, and a deserving continuation to the classic series (you don't know how excited I am for the Wii sequel), and the music used in the castles was excellent. Note I said castles. The tower music is boring, and sadly, that was what got reused in New Super Mario Bros Wii for the towers...

Super Mario Galaxy (Bowser's Road, and others)

As per a great game, Super Mario Galaxy had some great background music, including many classic remixes of traditional themes. Among these, was a full blown remix of the 'Bowser's Road' theme from Super Mario 64, which sounded as good as always.

Of course, it wasn't quite my favourite (Dreadnought, Melty Molten and Bonefin Galaxies had that level of music), and I won't repeat things by putting the music here, what with the game's original music listed in the same article.

New Super Mario Bros Wii

Sadly not quite as high level as that from New Super Mario Bros on DS, the castle music for the Wii game is still pretty catchy, and sounds great at about the 50 seconds or so mark. Not that I'm complaining, the boss battles are truly epic in New Super Mario Bros Wii, I'm getting this game straight on release day, and the castle levels themselves look pure classic, especially when playing in co-op mode.

And for History's sake, some spinoff classics

Because not only the main games had decent castle music, but also some of the spinoffs and RPGs.

Mario Kart Super Circuit

I still have fond memories of the music in this game (although truth be told, that's the ONLY aspect of the game I have good memories of, what with the awful physics and general controls). But the Bowser Castle (yes, no 's in the name) had some decent music, and well suited when playing on the level 'Bowser Castle 3'.

Sadly, Mario Kart Wii removed Kamek's cameo in the Bowser Castle 3 level... damnit.

Mario Kart DS

Nowhere near as good as the epicness that was Airship Fortress (neither the Bowser's Castle level or music), it's still worth a listen, if only because it sounds pretty good and is at least somewhat different from other music in the game:

Castle needed more lava I think. Oh, and for comparison, the music to my favourite level in Mario Kart history, also from the same game:

I used to have a top 100 world record type time... back in the day.

Mario Kart Wii

Ah, the unfairly hated Wii version of the Mario Kart series, and one which a lot of people seem to despise the music from, it's still got a decent Bowser's Castle track and music.

It's also my favourite tracks for both Vs and Time Trials. I was damn proud for beating that Expert Staff Ghost by 20 seconds...

Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga

It's the game that brought back the Koopalings, as well as Bowser's flying castle (last seen in Paper Mario and Mario Kart Super Circuit)! And hey, it's been a long time since I heard the music in this game, although the final level was just classic, what with the Koopalings and retro shout outs.

Cool enemies too... Magikoopas, Chomp Bros, Sniper Bills and Boos!

Mario and Luigi Bowser's Inside Story

Subtle and low key, that describes the castle music in Princess Peach's Castle here. A devastated backdrop filled with robot enemies and high level monsters, Midbus, Fawful and Dark Star, this level was plain chilling.

It had some good music as well. Second up, you had Bowser's Castle, entered much earlier, but sounding more like a crazed circus that a castle. Scary how a 100% approval rating would go...

Only a bit more disturbing than the creepy grins sported by every enemy in the game. It's a DK Universe nightmare!

Oh, and the giant battle theme is pure win:

Not a castle you say? You fight two!

Huh? Nothing! Worst fireworks ever!

HEAT! HEAT! FIRE! FIRE!

ACTIVE BLACK HOLE ENDGAME!

What? What is this?!

The ca... The castle... It's floating!

Fight sir! Don't lose Bowser!

Anything good I've missed here? I'll be honest, I haven't heard much of the music in Mario RPG or Paper Mario, and I just know someone will say something great was used for the theme music for castle levels in those games...

video games review(s) 2

pie595 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:15:01 GMT

lets star off with new super bros. wii. it may not be out in the usa. it looks great and plays fine. with new power ups and new boss battles it makes the game a little more better. plus the all new co-op mode it makes this game better.
Game rating:
10 mushrooms out of 10.

video games review(s)

pie595 — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:46:39 GMT

Lets start with Kingdom of Hearts 358/2 days
Its a fine game but a little hard. gameplay is fine nothing to worry about. you can play up to 4 players in mission mode and get this you can only do mission that everyone have got done.
358/2 days gets a 5/10.

Mario and Luigi Bowser's Inside Story; More Fun with AR Codes

cheat-master30 — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:57:41 GMT

Remember how a few weeks ago I said all about how I messed up the game by getting into Princess Peach's Castle as Mario and Luigi and causing havoc, beating up super tough enemies along the way? Well this time... less secret areas, more absolute 'game going into glitch melt down', since with the same semi teleport code, all hell has broken lose.

First of all, remember that island that Bowser rescued his Goomba army from? Yeah, he got there by jumping along a stone Wiggler. It's a place that is apparently inaccessible even with Moon Jump to Mario and Luigi...

Well, I got there with Mario and Luigi using the strange warp effect of the moon jump code on a PAL version of the game. Sadly, Mario wasn't pleased when he realised he ended up as a modern day Robinson Crusoe and had no way off the island... Kinda like those Goombas then.

For the next interesting glitch, I was in Dimble Wood, trying out the code. You know, to see if you can enter Fawful's old shop or Broque Monsieur's shop using the code. Ah... well Mario and Luigi basically disappeared. Or they shot off the top of the screen.

What then happened was something very funny looking, where on the map, they had like, no clipping or anything. They went through everything. Shops, trees, the middle of a river, empty fields in the background with nothing there... all while the game main screen didn't realise they'd left the area, so the screen was going mad trying to catch up with them. Eventually, the game failed to load in a new area, and the whole screen went red, with merely sounds and a map to rely on. I reset the game because trying to fix this mess would be insanely difficult.

Finally, I went to Princess Peach's Castle, at least grounds and used the code. Mario and Luigi got stuck in the moat, and hence couldn't get back out. They can walk about three feet, do anything they want... but not return to the path or any form of dry land. Reset the game again...

I did also get in the underground tunnel and fight a Choomba and about six Coalbits, although that'll wait until the comments. Interesting? Weird? I certainly don't understand why the same code does something completely different for one game version or the other. Maybe it only works for emulated versions?